Sunday, August 12, 2007

Complaints and What TSA Employees Really Think of Them

After 5 years (ok almost 5 years but I am not going to write that every time so don't bother me with semantics) I have heard a variety of complaints. Some are reasonable, logical and warranted. Some however are stupid, inane and waste everyone's time. Here is what the TSA employee thinks when you complain. Caveat....this is not an official TSA response this is just what the frontline employees think and would like to say to but can't.

Scenario #1 Passenger gets to the front of a line they have stood in for about 45 minutes and complains about the time spent in line.

Now you get to the front of the line and start complaining....complaining equals longer wait time. You are now holding up every passenger behind you in line. Which is what the people in front of you did to make your wait time so long in the first place. TSA employees can only process passengers as fast as the passengers want to go. If you felt the need to wear a ton of metal, carry prohibited items, and have fifty carry on bags there is nothing TSA can do for you. What the TSA officer wants to say is, "Have you been living in a cave???? Did you not know you were going to walk through a metal detector??? Did you miss one of the fifty signs that says laptops have to come out of the bag???? Your really pissing off the people behind you and now I have to listen to them whine and complain." Now we all know TSA officers can't say this, we have to be polite and patient and understanding...which slows down the process. You get to the front of the line and complain and all we can do is shrug our shoulders and hope that your rant ends soon. There is little to nothing a TSA officer can do about the time you spend in line. There is something TSA management can do but they are not going to do anything. TSA management could provide a permanent employee whos only job is to stand at the front of the line and tell passengers exactly what to do and how to do and get it done before they reach the front of the line. Unfortunately, this is considered a luxury position. If a checkpoint lane is only staffed with three people then you have one on x-ray, one running the metal detector and one running between bag searchs and wanding people. No officer available to help out the passengers who can't read or interpret pictures. So the next time your in a long line, look at the people directly in front of you and help them out. If the guy has a huge belt buckle the size of Texas make a polite comment about it and suggest it will alarm the metal detector and they might want to take it off. Sometimes you have to help yourself.

Scenario #2 Arguing with the TSA officer about what metal really is and complaining that your real gold shouldn't alarm.

Many, and I mean numerous passengers get to the metal detector and alarm and are in complete shock. When the TSA officer explains that the huge hoop earrings, belt buckle, pack of gum, cigarrette pack or cell phone are what is causing the alarm, the passengers scoff at the idea. Trust the officer all those things are metal. Tin foil is metal, lithium batteries in cell phone are metal, gold (this is an arguement had way too often) is metal. Fake metal is still metal. I always love the gold arguement. The passengers who say, "but it is real gold it can't alarm". They say this like the metal detector can somehow differeniate real gold from fake gold. For the record....it can't. Metal is metal so when you are told to take off all metal it really means all metal there are little execptions. You can safely leave on your wedding rings (the guys are real quick to take these off), a small chain or small earrings but the big clunky watches, chains and earrings need to come off. Gum is wrapped in tin foil so are cigarrettes. Look above tin foil is a metal and will alarm so take the gum and the cigarrettes off your person and put them in the bowl or bin. Argueing about what is metal holds up the line and your looking for a beat down by some harried traveler who knows the rules and just wants to get through security.

Passenger complains about walking on dirty floor. Solution wear socks!!!!

Passenger complains about jewelery will be stolen if they put it in the bowl. Solution put it in your carry on bag or leave it at home.

Passenger complains about being selected for additional screening. Get over it. It really is random. Somedays a guy with a beard would piss me off and for the rest of the day anyone with a beard got selected. Each officer running the metal detector gets to pick what the criteria is so each lane is different and every thiry minutes to an hour a different person is in charge of the metal detector. So it is truly random, you are not being picked on. If you act like an ass in line then yeah you will probably get some extra attention but then you deserve it. TSA officers are not allowed to profile and we are told not to profile. Does it happen you ask????? Well, honestly, it probably does. If you look shifty and you happen to be from the middle east then yeah you are going to be selected. Profiling is a whole other can of worms I will address in a later post.

Passenger complains that the officer is not repacking the bag exactly how they had it packed. Of course the officer is not going to because they aren't you. They are not memorizing every item and its location in the bag....it is not a contest. They are searching the bag and sometimes it is not going to get repacked exactly like you like it....GET OVER IT.

Passenger complains rather insistently that the TSA officer used amazing slight of hand and stole an item right out the bag. One we are not taught any slight of hand or tricks to steal your stuff and two we don't want your stuff. Check thoroughly before you make this complaint. Almost always the passenger has the item on them they are claiming is stolen. Usually it is in their own pocket. Sometimes another passenger has picked up the wrong bag or item. Rarely is it the TSA employee. I won't say never because that is just unrealistic....their are thiefs in every occupation and TSA is not immune.

Last complaint....Passenger says, "but they let me have it in Toledo or some other city." Ok listen closely. TSA is not consistent across the board. There is a reason for this. Terrorist could easily figure out the rules and then use them against us. TSA tries for some basic consistentcy but you got to mix it up to keep the terrorist guessing. Since I don't know if your a terrorist anymore than you know who the terrorist are TSA mixes it up for everyone. If some well meaning TSA officer let you keep your pocketknife in Toledo it doesn't mean that I am going to let you keep in my airport. You should have taken that as a second chance to get it right and NOT carry the pocketknife. I don't care that some other airport lets you break the rules. You are now in my airport and I don't allow you to break the rules.

Just as the traveling public thinks that TSA officers are monkeys in uniform; TSA officers think they same of you. You see one or two TSA officers....we see thousands of passengers. I never realized how stupid and yes I mean stupid the genearl public can be. I could of said ignorant but that implies that the person is capable of learning the rules. There are passengers who tell you they know the rules, they just thought it would be ok. That is stupid.

TSA focused on customer service for the first few years and it was good to an extent. Complaining though to the front line officers will do you no good. Complaining when you are in the wrong even less good. Just follow the rules and stop complaining. Take your complaints to TSA at http://www.tsa.gov/ where your complaint might actually get listened to because those officers on the frontline are not listening.

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