Saturday, August 11, 2007

How to get through security from an TSA employee

I worked for TSA for almost five years and I have seen just about everything. I will keep the funny stuff of things I have seen for a later post. Things people ask the most of me is how to get through security like there is some secret handshake I can reveal. There is no secret handshake but there are some basic things you can do to get through it all with little harassment. The basics of take off your shoes, take out your liquids and take out your laptop should already be known so here are few that aren't well advertised on the TSA signage.



1. Don't put sex toys in your carry on luggage. There will be fits of giggling behind your back which slows things down. There is also that one employee who doesn't know it is a sex toy and waves it around for all your fellow passengers to see.



2. Don't put illegal drugs in your carry on luggage or hide them well. TSA is not actively looking for these but if found they have to be reported. Hide them in something and not a clear plastic baggie if you have to carry them on the plane. The front pocket of your carry on bag is not hiding them either. When TSA says empty your pocket of all metal items....DRUGS are not metal keep them in your pocket!!!!



3. Don't hit on the TSA employees. This mainly applies to the men out there. The females employees are not going to pat you down no matter how many times you ask. All it does is encourage the employee to take the time to find the gayest employee on duty to pat you down. This takes time and slows down your move through security.



4. Don't lie to the TSA employee. This should be common sense but it is seen daily. If you have a pocketknife and you are asked where it is, don't lie and say you don't have one. Daily we would find items that are not allowed and in order to expedite the screening process we would simply ask the passenger to tell us where it is. We still have the search the bag but it will go faster if you just tell the truth. A two minute search can turn into a 10 minute search if you lie.



5. Don't demand to go to the front of the line because your plane is leaving. TSA employees don't care. It is not that we don't want to care we just can't. If your running late ask the airline ticket agent to take you to the front of the line because that is what they do. If there is no agent your not moving up. If we let you move up then we have to listen to every passenger behind you complain. No thanks, can't do it and won't do it.



6. This goes along with number 5. If you get selected to be searched or have your bag searched don't complain just do what your told. Complaining slows down the process alot. We will listen to you complain and while listening we will not be searching. After your done with your rant then the search will start. NOTE the length of your rant is directly related to the amount of time you will spend in the security line. Just so you know...the employees can't do anything about your complaint. Take it the supervisor or call TSA directly and complain.



7. Check your outfit before you leave the house!!!! The amount of metal you are wearing is also directly related to the amount of time you will spend in the security line. Suspenders....PLEASE don't. You are walking through a METAL detector. Every piece of metal you have on has to come off. If you chose to wear outfits with metal belts or chains that are permanently attached then expect extra treatment.



Now that you have a little more knowledge hopefully your next trip through the security line will be faster and maybe a little easier.

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